Confidant
by SSU-UCI-Mom
Summary: This is my second fan fic and focuses on Nick's POV during the arc when he was struggling on Wilgul and Tess decided to move back to the city.
1. Chapter 1  Chester

_This is my second fan fic. I used the original series dialogue as a jumping off point in order to bring a bit more depth to Nick's thoughts during this arc._

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own anyone or the original ideas, they are borrowed from Channel Nine and McLeod's Daughters._

CONFIDANT

By SSU-UCI-Mom

Chapter 1 - Chester

Nick was putting up a temporary yard when he saw Tess riding up on Oscar and leading another horse. "Hey, Tess." He called out as she approached. He looked again and saw the horse was Chester. "Didn't know he was still with us?"

"You said you wanted someone slow and gentle." Tess replied as she dismounted Oscar and looped his reins around the fence. "Saw some sheep loose in Drifter's Gully and fence needs fixing."

"What doesn't? Fencing, drainage, yards, house..." Nick said as he took Chester from Tess and walked the horse into the yards.

"I could help you out." Tess offered.

"So much to do, Tess. You'd never go home." Nick stated as he walked over to the fence and leaned down to look at Tess. He couldn't think of anything he would like more than spending time with Tess.

"And in the end, you'd be sick to death of me." She kidded back.

"Maybe." Nick smiled. But probably not he thought to himself. He liked the idea of Tess helping him but also wondered why she had the time. It seemed like Drover's would have plenty to keep her busy.

"Do you think this is a good idea?" Tess asked as she nodded towards Chester. Tess knew Nick was borrowing Chester to attempt to ride again.

"I really don't have a choice. You've seen the hills. Heaps of places only a horse can get to. You can't own a property like Wilgul if you don't ride." Nick was without solutions except this one.

"Take it easy then." Tess encouraged him. Nick could sense her apprehension with this idea.

" I don't have time to take it slow. If I don't do something soon, I won't be able to save Wilgul." Nick was determined to make this work. Somehow he felt that Tess understood in spite of her apparent worry for him.

As Tess returned to Drover's, Nick walked back to Chester. "How you doing ol' man? Ready to come out of retirement?" Nick stroked the length of the horse's back and patted him on the nose. "Be right back." Nick walked over to the fence to get his saddle and the blanket. As he returned to Chester's side, Nick whispered, "Help me out, Chester." Nick placed the blanket on Chester's back then put the saddle on top and cinched it up.

Nick put his foot into the stirrup and slowly attempted to swing his leg over the top. Having no luck on his first attempt, Nick proceeded to try again. He fell back for a second time and used his hand to take his foot out of the stirrup. "Come on, Nick! You can do this. You know you can." Nick geared himself up to try a third time. Chester waited patiently for Nick and this time he was able to mount. Nick settled into the saddle trying to find his seat after all these years and started to move the horse out of the yard. They slowly walked to the open paddock and Nick decided to have Chester go faster. It felt good to be on horseback again but how would his body react at the end. As they rode farther, Nick and Chester got into a routine. Nick remembered the feeling of being one with his horse and wondered if Chester was enjoying the ride, too. God, how he missed riding. Being one with the horse. It was difficult for him sometimes watching Claire and Alex on horseback. He wanted so much to be out there riding along side them just like when they were younger…before the rodeo accident. Now he just took it easy, no galloping this first time. "Let's see what we can do, ol' man. Nothing strenuous for either of us."

Nick brought Chester to a halt on a rise, looked out over the horizon and smiled at the sight. "Looks good, doesn't it Chester. Do you miss it as much as I do?" He loved this land and would never tire of it. He could see the possibilities in his mind and visualized those changes as he looked across the land--his land. Ranching was in an important part of who he was and riding only added to that enjoyment. He had put it from his mind because he never thought he'd be able to do it again. His thoughts returned to his earlier conversation with Tess. He wanted to make Wilgul a success and in order to do that he needed to ride. He squared his jaw determined that he would do whatever it took to accomplish that. The time was now. He thought of all that needed to be done…Should he take Tess up on her offer of assistance? Another hand would really help and he had no one else to go to right now. Harry was making it pretty difficult and Alex wouldn't understand Nick's reasons for leaving Killarney. Actually, he wasn't really leaving Killarney as much as setting out on his own journey to claim his independence. He wanted to feel whole again and owning Wilgul, making the decisions and trying out his own ideas seemed like the logical route to that independence. He had to break loose from Harry's control and from his mother's constant worrying about him. He was a man, fully capable of taking care of himself and determining his own life's direction.

Looking over the land reminded Nick again of all the things that needed to be done if he had a chance of getting Wilgul back into shape. Nick got to thinking again about Tess' offer. Was Tess really interested in helping him? He liked the idea of spending more time with her. She had an infectious laugh and her smile always brightened his day. And there was something about her eyes. She seemed to really listen when he talked and he wondered if he could confide in her his ideas for Wilgul. She was more than a one-off to him--she fascinated him. Her past comments on love and commitment intrigued him. Why would she feel that way? At times, she seemed so open but then whenever he had asked her more intimate questions, she seemed guarded, like there was a wall that she erected to keep distance between them. She said she was a free spirit and never wanted to settle in one place but Nick felt that she was putting down roots. Something was happening to her at Drovers. He remembered how excited she was to buy Madonna and all her internet research to learn how to care for her. She was becoming attached whether she realized it or not. Nick also didn't think that Claire would want her to leave. Claire was opening up more and more with her sister…or at least until the contract with Australian Bloodlines. Perhaps that is what Tess was referring to when she stopped by today with Chester. Was something else going on that Nick didn't know about? He wanted to know more about her and working together on the land might give him that opportunity.

Nick started to feel his hip stiffen up and decided to return to the yard. Chester certainly lived up to his request but riding such a gentle horse still was hard on Nick's body. Nick struggled to dismount. It took several attempts and even this took all his will power to endure the pain that came with lifting his body up and over the horse. Once down, Nick found it difficult to walk but he needed to cool Chester down and make him comfortable at Wilgul. Leaning slightly on Chester, Nick proceeded to brush him while Chester drank from the water trough. "Thanks fella. Looks like we'll be making this a daily habit. I'll take it easy on ya if you work with me. Enjoy the feed."

Nick slowly made his way to the house and fell on his bed, exhausted. He barely removed his clothing before falling asleep. One ride down.


	2. Chapter 2 Madonna

Chapter 2 - Madonna

It had been several days since Nick's first ride. He and Chester were getting into a regular routine but it was still difficult for Nick to dismount. It was tricky keeping the riding a secret due to Alex moving onto Wilgul after they discovered that Harry knew about their rodeo excursion but didn't stop them. Funny that Alex understood Nick's stance now and it was nice having someone else working with him. He had missed working with his brother and they seemed to fall into an easy routine. Nick thought back to that day. Tess had been instrumental in bringing the brothers back together. He wondered if she wanted them to have the same attachment that she regained with Claire. He thought back to her words in his kitchen when he had first bought Wilgul--there she was standing in a towel stating that she knew about Harry and his change of heart about the will. She seemed so surprised that he had not confided in Alex--_they were brothers. _He remembered hearing those words and seeing the fire in her eyes like she was trying to impress upon him how important that was. Then Alex came to Wilgul and they talked. Now they were working together.

A few days later, Alex and Nick were rescuing one of Harry's strays when Tess rode up with Madonna.

"G'day, Tess." Nick greeted her. "Madonna go walkabout?" He was distracted by Alex's shouts from the well.

"Looking for a new home actually." Tess responded.

"Hey. Why do I get the funny feeling this new home of hers is mine?" Nick inquired. "You sick of the milking?"

Tess replied, "No. I'm going back to the city. I got a job."

"What?" Nick was totally caught off guard by her news. His eyes went from the well to look up at her face. He was just warming up to the fact that they were becoming more comfortable with each other. He tried to keep his feelings in check.

Tess didn't seem to notice the sadness in his eyes as she continued on. "You remember those friends of mine. They have a café and offered me a job. I can't stick around here if Claire's going to marry Peter, can I?" Tess explained.

"Doesn't mean you have to go all the way to the city." Nick pursued the subject. He was trying to think of what he could say to make her stay. That's all she wanted to hear the first time Simon and Briony came to visit and he wondered if that was all she needed this time. He really didn't have much to offer her right now--just a rundown farm. Not to mention bunking with two brothers.

"Where else can I go around here?" Tess asked.

Nick thought back to their conversation a few days ago and he really wished he could just say _"Help me. Stay with me. I won't get sick of you."_ Instead he asked, "You going now?"

"No, tomorrow." Tess brought Madonna over to Nick. He took the lead and began to stroke Madonna's back and sides. Anything to keep his hands occupied while his thoughts were working overtime.

"So, Nick, I don't know…um…Good-bye." Tess stood in front of Madonna while Nick continued stroking her side. Madonna lent forward and licked Tess' hands. How he envied Madonna at that moment. She was able to freely reach to Tess as if she was expressing her sadness at Tess' leaving. He wished he could be so forward, take her hands and pull her into his arms. Let her know that she didn't have to leave and that he wanted her to stay.

But he just returned her farewell, "Yeah…Bye."

As Tess took Harry's cow and calf back to Killarney, Nick walked Madonna to the yards and put her in a pen by the stables. He walked into the machine shed remembering the time he found Tess there after the fire. He had been disappointed that day when Tess said she was a free spirit and never stayed in one place long. He had seriously thought about pursuing a relationship with Claire after that but they both knew they were just mates, nothing more. Wilgul had been a turning point for him but he thought Tess had changed, too. Since then, she seemed to be more at home in the country and really was able to hold her own with the other Drover's women. Was the city really what she wanted? Nick wasn't so sure. He sensed a sad resolve in her voice as she talked about having to leave so that Claire and Peter could get on with their relationship. Why would she think they didn't want her around? Claire seemed to love having her sister back in her life and Nick just couldn't figure out why Tess didn't see that.

Nick felt a sadness within himself now. He had Wilgul and his work but had felt a growing attraction to Tess. Her energy, her ideas, her optimism and fun-loving spirit were contagious and Nick felt so much lighter when she was around. She didn't seem to be put off by his limitations and he never felt embarrassed when she was around. He knew he would miss her more than he could imagine.

Nick penned Madonna and brought her water and feed. He ran his hand over her back and sides as if he was trying to make her comfortable in her new home. "Well, sweetheart, looks like we're going to have to get used to each other. Sorry Tess is leaving you." He automatically took inventory of what he would need to do with a milking cow on the property, reminding himself to bring out a stool and pail. Good thing Alex drank a lot of milk.

The next morning, Nick was milking Madonna. He couldn't put the thought that Tess was getting ready to leave from his mind. "I think I need to do something, Madonna, but what. I need to see her at least one more time before she leaves."

Nick finished quickly and put the milk in the refrigerator before heading out on his bike. The landscape flew past but he didn't take note as he rode to the boundary fence between Wilgul and Drover's. Tess' VW was heading down the road but Nick couldn't get her attention while he rode parallel to the road. She was gone and he hadn't been able to stop her. What could he do now? He returned to Wilgul dejected.


	3. Chapter 3 Madonna & Lover Boy

Chapter 3 - Madonna & Lover Boy

It had been at least a month since Tess had left and Madonna's milk had continued to decrease. Nick wanted the cow to have a bit of grazing and led her to another paddock. He released her and as she began to walk away searching for something to eat, Nick thought back on his visit to the city to see Tess.

Back then Nick knew that Claire didn't want Tess to know that she and Peter had broken up and Nick didn't tell Claire why Tess left in the first place. He had missed Tess and wanted to see her. He had to know how it was going in the city and needed to see for himself if the city was what she really wanted. He just had this nagging feeling that Tess really didn't want to leave Drover's and Claire. Just like today, Nick had gone out to milk Madonna. "Well, sweetheart, I'm heading out to see Tess. I think you miss her as much as me. Be good for Alex."

Once in the city, Nick had found the café and Tess had seemed really happy to see him. She got this big grin on her face and walked over to give him a quick kiss on the lips. The kiss was a pleasant surprise and then they talked. Funny how there weren't very many customers but she talked about how it was going and that it was great news that Claire and Peter were doing so well. She didn't know that they had broken up…and Nick played along because of his promise to Claire. He remembered how he didn't want to leave the restaurant but couldn't come up with a reason to stay and made an excuse that he had a physio appointment. As they walked to the street, Tess had invited him to go out with them. He remembered how happy he felt that she wanted to see him again that night. Nick shook his head at Simon's reaction that evening. He certainly showed his displeasure at Nick's presence--loved the remark about sleeping in the bathtub! Simon seemed to hover over Tess while Briony took Nick's arm. Nick had wondered why Simon was so attentive to Tess and kept making innuendos. Nick couldn't figure out if Simon was trying to reassure himself that Tess loved the city or trying to convince Tess that she made the right decision to return to the city.

Nick was glad when they returned to the flat and Tess took his hand to pull him to the couch. As they sat on Tess' couch, which Nick discovered was also Tess' bed, they talked about Drover's and the sunrises--what did Tess say? "Drover's has the most gorgeous sunrises." Yes, they were that…and he would have loved nothing better than to pack Tess up and take her back with him to watch the sunrise together. He could tell that Tess seemed to think about Drover's and the country a lot. No one but Tess could think she was sleeping under the stars while lying on a couch in a city flat surrounded by flickering candles.

Madonna wandered back towards Nick bringing him back to the present and he reached out to stroke her as if to share his secret with her, "And me, I was happy to just be lying on the floor next to her bed…I wish I had woken her up." Nick thought back to how nervous he had been as he told Tess his real reason for visiting her and when he had discovered she was already asleep, he had hoped he would have the chance to tell her in the morning. "She looked so peaceful and beautiful, Madonna, sleeping just inches from me. I still remember brushing against her skin as I pulled the doona over her shoulders and brushed a strand of hair back from her face. I remember wondering if Tess had any clue how I felt. I didn't know if I dared hope that she might have those same feelings." Madonna nuzzled Nick in the side. He stopped and laughed at her action. "Okay, girl, let's find you something good to eat."

Nick continued talking to Madonna as he walked her further into the paddock to find more grass. It seemed as if she was listening or perhaps it just felt good for him to say everything out loud to remind himself it really happened. "I remember waking early--country time, I guess. I had decided to make breakfast for Tess as a thank you for the night before. Boy, Claire's right. She is a sound sleeper. Only the smell of the cooked food aroused her when I moved the plate under her nose. I had to smile when she said she was impressed with my cooking skills. But then Simon came downstairs and everything happened so quickly." Simon--Nick wondered if the interruption was planned. Simon wasted no time in rushing Tess and Briony off to get ready and open the restaurant. "Tess asked me to stay, Madonna, but how could I explain my absence for another day…maybe I should have done that or asked her to stay back with me. It didn't seem that the restaurant was that busy and I bet Simon and Briony could have managed on their own. But I didn't." Nick remembered telling Tess that it was nice to see her and she responded in kind. Nick remember breaking contact with her eyes so she wouldn't see the sadness he felt at having to leave without being upfront with her about his reason for coming and his feelings for her. Nick shook his head as he realized his feelings were growing for this woman and he just had this sense that if Tess knew what Claire was really going through right now, she would be back at Drover's. "Madonna, I wonder if it was a mistake to not tell Tess about Claire and Peter's break-up." Madonna was set on eating and Nick decided to return to his other chores.

It wasn't until Nick returned that evening to bring Madonna back to her pen that he found Lover Boy with Madonna. "Hey big guy! What have you been up to? I thought I had you out at Drifter's Gully. How did you get here? What is Tess going to say about this?" Then Nick remembered Tess was in the city…and may not be returning. He walked both Madonna and Lover Boy back. It took a little bit to separate them into their own pens but finally Nick was able to settle them down. "So you had secret feelings for Madonna, hey, big guy." Nick shook his head, "At least you acted on them and she didn't seem too unhappy about it. Wonder how Tess would feel if I broke down the door to get to her? Do you think she would find it romantic?" Nick chuckled at that thought. "Nah, probably just turn me around and send me on my way. Of course, I bet she would have a big grin on her face while she was doing it. Might even find it flattering…" Nick walked towards the house mulling those thoughts around in his head. Perhaps he needed to change his tactics. "What were Tess' three levels of love again?" He whispered to himself and decided he might have to see if Alex remembered them. He also decided he better call the vet about Madonna and Lover Boy.


	4. Chapter 4 Chester

Chapter 4 - Chester

A few days later, Nick was out riding Chester again. It was a lot easier to get out now that Alex had moved back home. Alex realized he missed Killarney and decided to move back after Liz made them realize that Harry agreed to buy Drover's only to keep Claire from selling it to anyone else. Riding seemed to help Nick clear his head with all that was going on. He hadn't spoken to Tess since he had returned from the city. Nick didn't know how he could talk with her without revealing Claire's current state of mind but in the back of his mind, he worried that Tess might be the only one to help Claire get through this mess with Peter. He and Chester had developed a good relationship and the horse responded to Nick's commands without hesitation. Both rider and horse seemed to love roaming across the land, checking the fences and giving each other a good work-out. It still was difficult for Nick to dismount as he continued to push his body as each day passed. Today seemed like a good day to try galloping flat out. As Nick rode Chester across the last paddock to the house, he felt that old feeling of freedom again. It was very exhilarating and made him believe that everything at Wilgul would work out. He had been missing Alex but the more he regained his riding skills, the more confident Nick was becoming. Life seemed good for him. Only one thing was missing…Nick looked up as he and Chester rode into the yard and there she was. "Tess." Nick greeted her.

Tess was just tying Madonna up to her saddle and about to mount Oscar. She replied, "That's me. I hope you don't mind but I was missing Madonna."

Nick had to chuckle, "I understand a budgie but a cow in your flat?" Nick waited for Tess to respond hoping that she had more to say.

"No, I'm back for good." Tess explained.

"Welcome back!" Nick grinned from ear to ear. His heart was beating rapidly _ba-boom, ba-boom_. He watched Tess finish securing Madonna's lead. "Oh, by the way, I would have the vet check Madonna. Lover Boy broke down several fences to get to her."

Tess smiled back, "Okay. Well, it's kind of romantic if you think about it."

Nick liked her thinking and it made him wonder about how she would react to his feelings for her. He shifted in his saddle, thinking he needed to get off Chester but realized that he had pushed himself pretty far in today's ride and dismounting was going to be tricky. He thought he better wait for Tess to leave before attempting to dismount.

Tess indicated for Oscar to begin walking away and then turned to look at Nick, "You stuck up there?"

Nick took a deep breath before responding. "Nah, just admiring the view." That was partially the truth--he was admiring watching Tess riding away from him but he also felt his leg muscles seizing up. Luckily Tess continued on her way and Nick took the opportunity to dismount. He took in another deep breath and then let it out as he allowed his body to fall from the horse. Chester just remained steady while Nick recovered from the fall.

Tess turned around and only saw Nick looking at one of Chester's hoofs. She waved again and then continued on her way back to Drover's. Nick slowly pulled himself up from the ground using Chester's stirrup. "Thanks, ol' fella. Let's get you cooled down." By now, Tess was out of sight and Nick hobbled towards Chester's stall leading the horse behind him. He couldn't help but smile--Tess had returned and she said it was for good. He really could see a bright future at Wilgul and hoped that Tess would be part of that future. He also hoped that Tess' return meant that Claire would soon be back to her old self. He had missed his mate as well as her little sister.


	5. Chapter 5  Lover Boy

This is the final chapter--it's short but I hope you enjoy it. Once again, I don't own any of characters, including the animals. They all belong to MD and Channel 9.

Chapter 5 - Lover Boy

It had been several months since Tess' return and Nick had just come back from Drover's Run. He walked up to Lover Boy's stall and turned to lean back against it. He looked out over the yards and spent a few minutes just trying to sort out what happened earlier today. Nick then turned around when he felt Lover Boy coming closer to the fence. "Congratulations, big guy. You're a father. Okay, you've fathered lots of calves but I think this one might be special…or more importantly special to a certain lady friend we both know. Tess named your son Rocco." Nick shook his head at the name and had to smirk at Lover Boy, "Yeah, I know but what can I say, Tess is just so cute with the names she gives all her animals. Drives Claire up the wall at times but I have to say it's fitting this time. Madonna looks good and is doing okay." Nick laughed to think he was talking to Lover Boy as if he really cared about Madonna and they were a couple with their first child together.

Nick turned around again and leaned back against the fence once more. "Today was a very memorable day indeed, big guy. Tess and I had our first kiss. It started as a test, just to see if we were over our last relationships but for me it became much more than that. I haven't experienced a kiss like that before. It was as if time stood still as our lips met for the first time. All those months of thinking about Tess and wanting to share my feelings with her started to come to the surface in that kiss. Once we returned to Drover's, there was Madonna and Rocco. She had been so worried about Madonna delivering the calf in her absence but both mom and baby were fine. I was so drawn to Tess and wanted to take her in my arms and pull her closer but she hesitated. I just reached out to put a stray piece of hair back behind her ear and softly caressed her cheek as I withdrew my hand again. I loved looking into her eyes as she turned her head to thank me for bringing her home and could see how happy she was. It was a great day and I hope just one of many more I can spend with her." Nick once again felt Lover Boy's presence and turned to look at him. "Perhaps we can bring Rocco over for a visit. He might want to meet his old man." Nick walked back to the house and decided to call Tess to discuss custody visits for their "grandson". He smiled at the events of the last few months. Who would have thought a simple request for a horse would lead to organic farming, cattle breeding and a partnership with a confirmed free-spirited city girl.


End file.
